Being pregnant and having a baby brings all sorts of changes to a woman’s life. So what can mentoring offer a new mum? Jo Stilwell is the Project Coordinator for a Chapel St initiative called MumPlusMum, and talks here about the value of providing mentoring support for mums-to-be and new mums.
What is mentoring for mums?
Mentoring is a relationship between 2 people who are in a common situation, one further down the road of experience who can offer advise and support. Through MumPlusMum, we hope to connect a new mum with another mum volunteer to provide support and a listening ear.
Why is mentoring a new mum beneficial?
Having a baby is a life changing experience and can feel overwhelming to the new mum for many reasons. Having a volunteer mentor who is already a mum can offer support, insight, encouragement, empathy and a wider perspective for the new mum as they embark on their own journey of becoming a parent.
What are some of the key skills involved in mentoring that are really important to build on in a mentoring relationship?
A good volunteer mentor will be a great listener. They will listen without judgement and ask questions that enable the mum to discover for themselves the issues that are important. A good mentor will be able to offer options not prescribe solutions. A mentor will look to bring out and develop the qualities and skills that the mum already possesses. The mentor’s goal is to see the mum develop their problem solving skills and grow in confidence in their own abilities.
What are some of the key issues facing the women that you encounter in your community?
Many of the mums we meet through MumPlusMum are very isolated. They have few or no family members nearby. Many may be going through the upheaval of being rehoused, due to various challenges which may include relationship breakdown/losing a job, struggling with bills, benefit changes, employment loss and mental health. Providing some support for women through these things can help them navigate their way through the chaos.
Why do you think some women find it difficult to reach out to services in their community that might help them or their family?
Ignorance of services is a big factor and then a confidence to go to them alone. Some women have had a poor relationship with the statutory services over the years and so may be reluctant to approach anything “official”.
How does meeting with a mentor benefit a new mum?
For one mum-to-be, meeting with a MumPlusMum mentor has made an important impact on her situation. The woman met was introduced to one of our mentors after having being rehoused due to an abusive relationship with the baby’s father. The mentor was able to talk to her about the relationship and connected her to a local support group for women who have suffered domestic violence. Food bank vouchers were issued to her while her benefits were in disarray. The mentor supported the mum as she investigated and then enrolled her on a translators course for future employment opportunities. The baby has now been born and MumPlusMum has sourced some baby equipment and clothing for the family.
Can you think of a situation or story in which a volunteer mentor has learnt/grown as a result of their relationship with a mum?
Every mentor volunteer says they grow as a result of being involved with MumPlusMum. We find that there is a huge sense of respect from the mentors for their mums, as they see their desire to move forward despite often quite significant issues in their path. Mentors particularly comment about how they have learnt to listen without jumping in with “fixes” and then enjoying seeing them come up with their own solutions.
How does mentoring help a new mum engage more with her local community?
The relationship between the 2 women opens the eyes of both to different sections of their shared community. They are able to share their own communities with each other and therefore broaden their awareness of different groups, resources and local knowledge.
What has being a mentor and community worker taught you about yourself?
For me it has shown me how extraordinarily resilient women are in living with significant issues and obstacles to flourishing and that with some support and encouragement they can make real changes for them and their baby. Being a mentor has taught me the huge value of connecting women together as they are naturally empathetic and resourceful.
For more information about MumPlusMum or to volunteer visit the project’s web site.
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